STUDIO SICKLY

Syracuse University graduate Aaron Sorkin's recent endeavor, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, has been canned. Sorkin had recent success with the West Wing, but our favorite work of his, is of course Sports Night with an ensemble that included Deseparate Housewife-Felicity Huffman, Benson-Robert Guillaume, that guy in Six Feet Under and Josh Charles. Now Sorkin is known for injecting fast paced and witty dialogue into his programs. Now Studio 60 had that, but a lot of the characters and plots were too weak to carry an hour show. Sorkin also switched the focus of the show midstream, and made it into a romance driven crapfest. But this will not hold down the great and powerful Aaron Sorkin. No, no, no. So SCS thought he'd take a look at some possible ideas for Sorkin's next television endeavor. So we thought, where we would, as the American public, really want to get a better look:


THE BOOTH: A behind the scenes look at a sports announcing team. Possibly for something like Sunday or Monday night football. I'm seeing maybe David Hasselhoff and Tim Meadows, with say, Mario Lopez. Tough to say if this could keep a captive audience. What am I saying?! With Sorkin's behind the wheel it's sure to be money in the bank! I mean of course the actual announcing would be crap, but the week long meetings with the teams coaches, watching video and practices, would be great television. Just off the top of our heads, some guys that could be cast as coaches, umm, how about Brian Dennehy? Stacy Keach? Carl Weathers? or the White Shadow's Ken Howard? All great thespians in their own rights.


THE BAND: Nothing better than a look behind the scenes of an up and coming adult contemporary band. The name of the band could become the name of the show. Perhaps something like Flutterbug, or Circus Peanuts. The name is still up for grabs. I'm seeing maybe Bruce Campbell as the band manager, with Jared Leto, Matt Long, and perhaps AJ Langer (My So Called Life) or Jenna Van Oy (Six from Blossom) as the band. This might be too young, hip and edgy for Mr. Sorkin, but who knows. I mean life on the road, in the recording studio, public appearance gone awry, it's got People's Choice Award written all over it.

TRUE TO LIFE: A real inside look at some reality show. Hit on what's hot. This would be a look at the people who run the and produce the reality show. This could be a Real World or a compettion one like American Idol. This might be hard to keep interesting. But we'd watch for a couple of episodes. Inside the constant turmoil of the contestants driving them crazy combined with the inside intertwining relationships amongst the staff, etc. You'd need someone British of course, like maybe a Ricky Gervais type. We're also seeing Tim Daly for this, even though he's due to be in the Grey's Anatomy spin-off. Or maybe Paul Rudd? Or the one and only Michael Ian Black? And they have to get Doug E. Doug. His talent is just out there, untapped. Sounds great, right?

Or maybe a show about doctors? Or lawyers? Or maybe investigators, cause we never seen any of those on the ol' boob tube. Just remember Aaron if any of these hit it big, you owe Saul some royalties my friend! I have witnesses, and it's documented right here for all seven of my readers to see. So trust me Sorkin, if you screw me over you'll need more than just a few good men to keep me away!

HAPPY ARBOR DAY!

Yes that's right, it's the time of year to honor, support and plant trees. And plant them we should. Enough of snowstorms in April, tornadoes swooping all around, and not just in Kansas, hurricanes, . It's all fixable isn't it? That's what Al Gore says, and if it weren't for him, you could only be reading this on some sort of Common Sense Pamphlet I'd be strewning about town. (Yes strewning) Cause as we all know the former Vice President invented the internet and for that we owe him a great deal, but isn't it convenient for him that after his movie about the Earth's impending doom, all this weather goes all haywire. A little too convenient, don't ya think? Yes Salt City Saul has figured him out. All this global warming hulabaloo is a big myth, you see. Thanks to some keen investigating and knowledge of cartoons, we've been able to uncover the harsh truth. And now we're gonna blow Mr. Gore's cockamamie theories right out of the water! You see we reckon that Mr.Gore has built himself a weather machine, much like that of Professor Norton Nimnul in an episode of Chip'n' Dale's Rescue Rangers. Yes Professor Nimnul used his machine to aid him in stealing various jewels, monies and trinkets. But what does Al Gore have to gain? Ummm, how 'bout documentary sales? If lots of people go see it, he can then parlay it into books, lectures, and personal appearances, and ultimately world domination. Nice try Mr. Gore, if that is your real name, but you're not fooling this blogger, just be on the lookout for Chipmunks and mice, because Moneterey jack is one bad mammamjamma!

IS IT DRAFTY IN HERE?

Well Saul has been "here and there" lately with the posts, but that's all about to change, cause the NFL Draft is right around the corner and Saul has gotta get you ready! No I'm not gonna issue a drinking game, a mock draft, 40 times, shuttle times, Warren Moon shirts, or an NFL Draught. I'm not gonna pretend you care what I think about the actual draft picks, their "upsides" or beer. No, no, I'm just gonna let you know who you really need to look out for in this draft.

Now first off you gotta watch out for the home town heroes. Defensive back Tanard Jackson and punter Brendan Carney from Syracuse University. Jackson is projected to go late second round, while Carney may not get drafted at all, despite being the best SU kicker since the great Nate Trout (no relation to Steve). So those are the Orange to look for, now here's some other names the gang at SCS will be keeping a close eye on:

Amobi Okoye, DT, Louisville- We searched and searched, but could not find anything linking him to the original "Nigerian Nightmare" Christian Okoye, nor could we find any projected draftees with the last name Word. We were bummed. While to us Americans, Okoye is not a common name, in Nigeria it's like Jones. That is to say it's very common. Now we're not saying Christian and Amobi are not related, just that our sources came up short on finding them on different branches of a Okoye family tree.

Jamaal Anderson, DE, Arkansas- We were disappointed to find that he is not the descendant of former NFL running back and Dirty Bird Jamal Anderson. While searching for a connection between Jamaal and Jamal, we did find out that Jamal is currently dabbling in sports broadcasting, skydiving and wine tasting. So maybe we can soon have a Dirty Bird Winery. who knows? But if it's good enough for the Sawx? Speaking of the Sawx......



Manuel "Manny" Ramirez, G, Texas Tech- Of course, there is no relation to THE Manny Ramirez technically, but as a guard this Manny, will actually be a Man-Ram, moving guys around in the trenches. And of course, if he turns out to be good, you can double your "Manny being Manny" references per year.

Joe Staley, OT, Central Michigan- We were hoping he'd be related to Duce, but when we saw his picture, there was absolutely no family resemblance, and we don't think Duce has adopted, so....

Ben Grubbs, G, Auburn- We really just like his name. And we know what you're thinking, "Hey wasn't there an 80s baseball player with that last name?" Well you are pretty close, but you are more than likely thinking of former Detroit Tiger Johnny Grubb.

Tony Ugoh, OT, Arkansas- We took a look at Ugoh, and he's big. So I don't think a lot of people would call him an Ugoh. Tony, we, personally think you are quite handsome.

Zak DeOssie, OLB, Brown- Zak is actually related to former NFL player and Boston radio talk show host, Steve DeOssie. His dad is somehting of an a-s-s, but Zak went to Brown so he might actually have a bit of brains, who knows?

You can also look forward another Charles Johnson, Steve Smith and Tony Gonzalez getting drafted. I'm sure this year's Charles Johnson hopes his NFL career goes a bit better than the last Charles Johnson. While, Steve Smith hopes his receiving career is much like that of the Steve Smith on the Carolina Panthers. Their is also a Keith Jackson that should get drafted, and drink for every "whoa nelly" or any other Keith Jackson catch phrase uttered when the defensive tackle out of Arkansas is drafted.

Brian Leonard, FB, Rutgers- He's just a feel good story. And if it feels good...do it. Dubbed Brian Leonard "Part 6" , it'll be a happy day once he gets drafted. But if he starts babbling about Imus, we'll turn on him fast.

David Irons, CB, Auburn- We were saddened to find that he is not realted to the actor Jeremy Irons, but are still sure that he is an iron-clad pick for whoever gets him. We found that there is also another Irons who could get drafted, also not related to the thespian, but oddly enough is related to a lesbian. Okay that last part about the lesbian's not true, but it felt good, so we did it. We were also disappointed that the safety out of Washington State, Eric Frampton, is not connected to Peter Frampton as far as we can tell, but he's sure to, come alive, in any defense.

Kenneth "Terence Trent" Darby, RB, Alabama- Okay so we gave him that nickname, but it works don't it? We have a feeling that he'll be all right.

Turner Booth, LS, Michigan- Cool that he's a long snapper, and might have to be lumped in with the placekickers and punters in the "Bitterness is a Fish You Can Catch Drinking Game." Would be way cooler if his last name was Hooch, am I right? Then he could be Turner "and" Hooch. And what if his middle initial were "N"? Turner N. Hooch!

John Talley, CB, Duke- No, he's not related to Darryl Talley, but we think he shuld bring back the spider web spandex on the arms. Oddly enough, Darry Talley was once nicknamed, "The Duke of Awesome" and John Talley attended Duke University. Well, talley-ho, I say bring back the "Talley-Whackers". But his name is also close to former Bad Boy, John Salley. But his name is not as close as...

Reggie Lewis, CB, Florida- Obviously we just like him because he has the same name as a former Celtic. We will not go any further into the tragedy that occurred with the Celtic, but just hope this Lewis, can't lose.

Baraka Atkins, DE/DT, Miami- His first name makes us think of Barack Obama? Plus if he somehow lands on the same team as either Samare or Antrell Rolle, you'd have Baraka and Rolle. Okay it's a stretch, I guess, but here's a better one.

Marquies Gunn, DE/LB, Auburn- Obviously a cool last name, but he is projected to go to the Jets a pick after the Broncos. Why wouldn't the Broncos go after him? Team him up with Rod Smith and you've got Rod and Gunn! Beautiful.

Doug Free, OT, Nothern Illinois- No relation, as far as we can tell, to World B. Free. And if you want a Doug you're gonna have to pay for it! Especially if it's.....

Doug Datish, C, Ohio State- We don't really know why we like this guy, but we do. There's something about the name Datish, that sings to us. Like maybe if someone's like, "was it a date?" You would reply, "Well, it was dat-ish." Datish, of course meaning, of or relating to date qualities.

CJ Ah You, DE, Oklahoma- I think the name speaks for itself. His name being something that people say when being overcomplimented, or being given a gift, like "Ah You".

Tank Tyler, DT, North Carolina St.- We almost weren't gonna put him on there, since you know, Tank's are kinda passe, what with Tank Mcnamara and Tank Johnson already out there. But then we realized that it's still a cool name.

HB Blades, ILB, Pittsburgh- Gotta a love a Big East pick, but what is up with HB? I mean if he was a running back, we could understand, but not a linebacker. I don't see what's wrong with Horatio Benedict?

Kevin Boss, TE, Western Oregon- Can't go wrong with Boss. Currently they have KB projected to go to Buffalo, while he's no Pete Metzalaars, he's gotta be better than Jay Riemersma. Let's just hope he never names any of his kids Hugo.

Ameer Ismail, OLB, Western Michigan- No relation to "The Rocket" or "The Missile", but by calling himself Ismail, he should have a cool nickname, like "The Shuttle"or something.

Antwan Applewhite, DE, San Diego State- Like most of the other names in here, he is not attached to who we were hoping he was. Yes Antwan, believe it or not, is not related to former SU Quarterbacks coach Major Applewhite. On a side note, how did he get hired as a an offensive coordinator at Rice after doing nothing at SU? Weird.

Well, just a couple more draft notes:
There will be two players drafted with the first name Dallas, Dallas Sartz out of USC and Dallas Baker out of Florida. There are also two possible draftees with the last name of Ball, Alan Ball out of Illinois and David Ball out of New Hampshire. But no one named Dallas Ball, and no prejected draftees from Ball State or the University of Dallas, weird?

Well that does it for the Saultan's Draft Preview, good night, good luck, and don't do anything we'd do!

GET THOSE TAXES IN NEW YORKERS!

Syracuse University alumnist Irwin R. Schuyster is adamant that you get those taxes in folks or he'll hit ya with his patented Stock Market Crash!

TOMFOOLERY

Well, Saul's been a bit lazy of late, but not to worry, I've scoured YouTube and stolen some fodder for my loyal readers.

Don't get too excited,as a magician named G.O.B. is not about to appear:





That Otto, sure can act!



And since the Chiefs season is almost upon us, here is Borat learning the game of baseball:

WAIT'LL NEXT YEAR!

While the Orange basketball team didn't make the tournament this year, help is on the way. Syracuse has one of the top recruiting classes in the nation, and you can catch two of their recruits in tonight's McDonald's All-American game. Donte Green (above) and Johnny Flynn are two cogs in the bright future of Orange basketball. Green is another long-armed player toman the front line in that 2-3 zone and Flynn could be the "true" point guard the Orange so deeparetly needed this year. You gotta like next year's chances, though, especially considering every NCAA men's basketball champion since 1979 has had at least one McDonald's All-American on the squad. Green and Flynn will join anther McD's All-American, Eric Devendorf next year, super-sizing the 'Cuse lineup. So catch a sneak peek tonight if you can.

GO HOYAS?

We know Georgetown is a long time Syracuse rival. And yes we know SU's season is over, while the Hoyas are headed to the Final Four. But there's no sense in crying over spilled milk. We should root on the Hoyas, as it will make the selection commitee look even more ass-ish. As the Orange were the last team to beat the Hoyas, eight games ago. Georgetown has now won 19 out of 20. The one loss? To Syracuse, who was denied an invitation to the Dance.